Open CallOpen Call: Rough Cuts
Competing Thoughts (Rough Cut) (7:03)
Ben Stump + Ursita Films
This is my first in a series of video essays drawing from my research on competition. In this installment I'll use pickup soccer as a microcosm of our globalized culture. A rare hub of race, class, and sometimes gender, pickup soccer is arguably one of the most diverse gatherings in Boston. Anyone is welcome, and often there's no score. I'll discuss the pros and cons of competition, and alternatives to it.
Style: My reflections on soccer and mixed feelings about competition will be the thematic center of the film. I'll weave in quotes, interviews and audio from people on all sides of the debate: psychologists, economists, educators, parents, and athletes. I'll include original and archival footage of the many contests we engage in, and "keep score" of the ways competition both helps and hurts us. I'll examine alternatives such as collaborative learning, non-competitive games, and cooperative workplaces, and incorporate shared footage. I will also draw on cutting-edge collaborative film sites like eyespot.com.
Producer Biography:
Ben Stump
http://competingthoughts.blogspot.com/
Ben Stump is a free-lance video editor, and member of Ursita Films. Ursita Films makes big films for small crowds with big dreams and small budgets to make big change in small time.
Ben Stump
http://competingthoughts.blogspot.com/
Ben Stump is a free-lance video editor, and member of Ursita Films. Ursita Films makes big films for small crowds with big dreams and small budgets to make big change in small time.
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Posted by: brianretchless, February 22, 2008 - 12:12
Anonymous mc said...
I liked this piece. It's a surprising subject-- usually docs focus on smaller, less fundamental issues, so I liked spending a few minutes thinking about competition vs cooperation. I liked the informal tone of the narration-- it felt comfortable and conversational-- like a This American Life story.
The soccer opening and closing didn’t work for me, though. It established the personal tone well, but since soccer is actually a competitive game, it created dissonance for me. (I understand that the competition might not be the part of it that the filmmaker loves, but most people see it as an integral part of the game.) The “level field” segue seemed to muddy the point, too—the film is not about fairness, it’s about competition, isn’t it?
I liked the use of old archival footage to illustrate the piece—it kept my attention and added levity to the topic. There were some particular lines in the argument that I didn’t follow, though. One example: the filmmaker follows an anecdote about fruitflies who are bred to be aggressive with someone saying it is actually learned. Breeding and learning are very different—if these are to be two contradictory opinions, perhaps the filmmaker should sharpen that in the VO—“while some people think X, others disagree”. As it is, it feels like one idea is supposed to follow from the other.
Overall, I though it was a nice meditation on the topic.
December 5, 2006 1:32:00 PM PST
ursitafilms said...
Marshall, thank you for such thoughtful feedback. We've incorporated a lot of it into a new cut which is now in place of the old one (with Chris' help). I'd love to hear if you and others like this version better.
For starters we replaced the ending shot - the one where a lone baby is winning the race while the voiceover says "striving together" - now it shows people actually striving together, wow.
We agreed entirely with your observation that following the fruit fly line with Orlick's "I think that's learned" wasn't logical, so we moved that sequence around a bit. It feels better but still flows awkwardly - we need to decide what we're really trying to say there.
As for the soccer theme, we thought it was important to introduce the narrator as a soccer player (and lifetime competitor) to set up the tension between "good" vs "bad" competition - loving the former while questioning the latter. But you're right it wasn't working, so in this second version we inserted a title sequence to mark the switch - still, the pacing is off and the voiceover needs revising. The "level playing field" VO muddies the point, as you said - that segment could be clearer.
We also need to thread the film with soccer more, as we originally intended. Should we not use soccer at all? I don't need to force it into the film, certainly, but it's something I always seem to return to (or begin from) when I contemplate these issues.
I'm curious what you and others think about the fish images - we're using them as raw symbols of contest, but that might not be obvious. We added a Margaret Mead quote to spell it out a little - perhaps too much.
Lastly, we replaced some of the "primitive" Guineans with footage of bees collaborating, to avoid potentially racist undertones and offer a nice contrast to the fighting flies (assuming we keep that clip).
In the next cut we'll insert real collaborative learning footage (currently 50's archival) so we can be disciplined about associating archival with the "old way", and link current footage to positive alternatives. We're also reshooting the Collective Copies interview to give it more energy and color, and we're looking for an expert on economic competition (like Paul Krugman - anyone know him?), since that's where some of the biggest damage happens.
Thanks again, this process is really helpful.
-Ben for UF
December 13, 2006 7:35:00 PM PST
Anonymous Ross said...
this is a wonderful topic. i love the analysis and the critique of competition.
i am just going to give thoughts off the top of my head. my immediate reactions. they may be half baked, but what the hell...
in general, the tone of the piece is a bit too subdued for my taste. i believe the narration has a lot to do with it. it's not totally doing it for me, but at the same time, i like the personal aspect that the narration brings with it. don't know the solution.
any thoughts anyone?
i like the soccer, but agree with marshall that opening the film with it is a bit confusing. but if you as the filmmaker keep coming back to it, then there is something in your body telling you that, and you should listen to it.
maybe another way to think about the soccer and the opening would be to have some sort of very quick opening sequence (possibly 20 or 30 seconds), letting you know what the film is really about. basically a very quick tease. something with energy that pulls you into the film, that gives a sense of what the film going to say ( without actually saying it of course), then go to the main title, and then to the soccer (which is more subdued, and would work well in terms of pace and rhythm. it may be a good solution and help the overall feel of the film.
my thoughts run to how competition has really hurt us as a nation. how things like corporate greed and crime (ENRON), as well as sports / steroid drug use has become commonplace. i think of beauty contests, i think of politics. i think of competition leading to a vying for power as opposed to the betterment of society (am i starting to sound like a communist?).
but competition isn't a bad thing (like you said, the latin word compete means 'to strive together'), but unchecked competition, competition that is not from the true meaning of the word, can be and most times leads to negative outcomes on a micro and macro scale.
back to the film.
a detail; do you need to say, "So i paid a visit to author alfie cohen, author of no contest, a case against competition"?
in terms of editing, it may work better if you made a hard cut from the race car crash, directly on screen to alfie. it would also be more efficient. in general, when i edit, i try to tell a story in the most efficient and effective way (i actually learned that from Sam Pollard, so i can't take credit for it here in this venue because Sam will probably be reading this...).
There is a tendency in the editing to end a sequence, and then come in with VO before that sequence has ended. Sort of like ending a chapter or paragraph, and starting the next words of the upcoming paragraph before the last one is finished. It is ok to let a thought finish, have a beat or a breath, and then start a new sequence.
i like the animation very much. especially the older animation. definitely brings a feeling of not just energy to the piece, but gives us a sense that this idea of competition has been ingrained in the american psyche for a long time.
the fish work. you don't have to spell it out so much with the words "competing" and "thoughts" on it (is that your main title sequence?) a big fish eating a little fish is very clear.
also, i don't think margaret mead's line is working. it takes too much time to digest it and feel it's meaning.
this is a great topic, and could easily be the subject of a bigger, longer film.
i am going to think about it some more...
December 14, 2006 9:22:00 AM PST
talenti said...
Hi Ben,
I like that this is a "philosophical" film - we're asked to think more than anything, and that is refreshing. I agree with Marshall that the soccer metaphor wasn't clear to me - but in reading your comments it looks like you know how to fix that, which is great. I didn't at first read your spontaneous soccer pick-up game as especially competitive, but more as a collaborative kind of practice - evidently I was off. But maybe it's both, which means your idea of integrating soccer throughout, illustrating both ends of the spectrum perhaps, would work.
I was very intrigued with the Burmese non-competitive dance-like soccer (the name escapes me now) - just beautiful!
December 15, 2006 7:45:00 AM PST
Anonymous mc said...
I agree with almost all of your comments, Ross, but I actually really like the tone of the narration. The deadpan, understated tone makes it feel more personal to me. Because it defies the convention of most narration (which has those weirdly hyped, unnatural inflections), i felt like I was listening to another human speaking to me rather than a Voice Over-- which seemed particularly appropriate given the film's subject matter.
December 18, 2006 8:58:00 AM PST
655shorts said...
Sam said....
I enjoyed this topic a great deal and when I first saw this piece it was very interesting because in my doc class at NYU this fall I was trying to impress on the students the idea of succeeding as a team rather then competiting as indviduals when it came to creating their film projects. It was a very difficult idea for many of them to deal with.
I liked the narrators voice and felt like MC that it was human and conversational.
The archival footage and animation are great. The one confusion was the apple pie cutting and the reverse of it. I didn't get it.
I agree with Ross about the Mead comment it takes to many readings to digest.
Also to agree with MC and Ross the soccer idea does not work. A great visual way to start and end the film but you need to make a stronger connection to the idea of competitng right now it does not.
I liked the pacing overall even when you upcut new voiceover ideas before a scene finished, not my style but worked.
And finally when I read the other comments my competitive juices kicked in and I watched this piece again and again. Hmm.
January 1, 2007 2:24:00 PM PST
I liked this piece. It's a surprising subject-- usually docs focus on smaller, less fundamental issues, so I liked spending a few minutes thinking about competition vs cooperation. I liked the informal tone of the narration-- it felt comfortable and conversational-- like a This American Life story.
The soccer opening and closing didn’t work for me, though. It established the personal tone well, but since soccer is actually a competitive game, it created dissonance for me. (I understand that the competition might not be the part of it that the filmmaker loves, but most people see it as an integral part of the game.) The “level field” segue seemed to muddy the point, too—the film is not about fairness, it’s about competition, isn’t it?
I liked the use of old archival footage to illustrate the piece—it kept my attention and added levity to the topic. There were some particular lines in the argument that I didn’t follow, though. One example: the filmmaker follows an anecdote about fruitflies who are bred to be aggressive with someone saying it is actually learned. Breeding and learning are very different—if these are to be two contradictory opinions, perhaps the filmmaker should sharpen that in the VO—“while some people think X, others disagree”. As it is, it feels like one idea is supposed to follow from the other.
Overall, I though it was a nice meditation on the topic.
December 5, 2006 1:32:00 PM PST
ursitafilms said...
Marshall, thank you for such thoughtful feedback. We've incorporated a lot of it into a new cut which is now in place of the old one (with Chris' help). I'd love to hear if you and others like this version better.
For starters we replaced the ending shot - the one where a lone baby is winning the race while the voiceover says "striving together" - now it shows people actually striving together, wow.
We agreed entirely with your observation that following the fruit fly line with Orlick's "I think that's learned" wasn't logical, so we moved that sequence around a bit. It feels better but still flows awkwardly - we need to decide what we're really trying to say there.
As for the soccer theme, we thought it was important to introduce the narrator as a soccer player (and lifetime competitor) to set up the tension between "good" vs "bad" competition - loving the former while questioning the latter. But you're right it wasn't working, so in this second version we inserted a title sequence to mark the switch - still, the pacing is off and the voiceover needs revising. The "level playing field" VO muddies the point, as you said - that segment could be clearer.
We also need to thread the film with soccer more, as we originally intended. Should we not use soccer at all? I don't need to force it into the film, certainly, but it's something I always seem to return to (or begin from) when I contemplate these issues.
I'm curious what you and others think about the fish images - we're using them as raw symbols of contest, but that might not be obvious. We added a Margaret Mead quote to spell it out a little - perhaps too much.
Lastly, we replaced some of the "primitive" Guineans with footage of bees collaborating, to avoid potentially racist undertones and offer a nice contrast to the fighting flies (assuming we keep that clip).
In the next cut we'll insert real collaborative learning footage (currently 50's archival) so we can be disciplined about associating archival with the "old way", and link current footage to positive alternatives. We're also reshooting the Collective Copies interview to give it more energy and color, and we're looking for an expert on economic competition (like Paul Krugman - anyone know him?), since that's where some of the biggest damage happens.
Thanks again, this process is really helpful.
-Ben for UF
December 13, 2006 7:35:00 PM PST
Anonymous Ross said...
this is a wonderful topic. i love the analysis and the critique of competition.
i am just going to give thoughts off the top of my head. my immediate reactions. they may be half baked, but what the hell...
in general, the tone of the piece is a bit too subdued for my taste. i believe the narration has a lot to do with it. it's not totally doing it for me, but at the same time, i like the personal aspect that the narration brings with it. don't know the solution.
any thoughts anyone?
i like the soccer, but agree with marshall that opening the film with it is a bit confusing. but if you as the filmmaker keep coming back to it, then there is something in your body telling you that, and you should listen to it.
maybe another way to think about the soccer and the opening would be to have some sort of very quick opening sequence (possibly 20 or 30 seconds), letting you know what the film is really about. basically a very quick tease. something with energy that pulls you into the film, that gives a sense of what the film going to say ( without actually saying it of course), then go to the main title, and then to the soccer (which is more subdued, and would work well in terms of pace and rhythm. it may be a good solution and help the overall feel of the film.
my thoughts run to how competition has really hurt us as a nation. how things like corporate greed and crime (ENRON), as well as sports / steroid drug use has become commonplace. i think of beauty contests, i think of politics. i think of competition leading to a vying for power as opposed to the betterment of society (am i starting to sound like a communist?).
but competition isn't a bad thing (like you said, the latin word compete means 'to strive together'), but unchecked competition, competition that is not from the true meaning of the word, can be and most times leads to negative outcomes on a micro and macro scale.
back to the film.
a detail; do you need to say, "So i paid a visit to author alfie cohen, author of no contest, a case against competition"?
in terms of editing, it may work better if you made a hard cut from the race car crash, directly on screen to alfie. it would also be more efficient. in general, when i edit, i try to tell a story in the most efficient and effective way (i actually learned that from Sam Pollard, so i can't take credit for it here in this venue because Sam will probably be reading this...).
There is a tendency in the editing to end a sequence, and then come in with VO before that sequence has ended. Sort of like ending a chapter or paragraph, and starting the next words of the upcoming paragraph before the last one is finished. It is ok to let a thought finish, have a beat or a breath, and then start a new sequence.
i like the animation very much. especially the older animation. definitely brings a feeling of not just energy to the piece, but gives us a sense that this idea of competition has been ingrained in the american psyche for a long time.
the fish work. you don't have to spell it out so much with the words "competing" and "thoughts" on it (is that your main title sequence?) a big fish eating a little fish is very clear.
also, i don't think margaret mead's line is working. it takes too much time to digest it and feel it's meaning.
this is a great topic, and could easily be the subject of a bigger, longer film.
i am going to think about it some more...
December 14, 2006 9:22:00 AM PST
talenti said...
Hi Ben,
I like that this is a "philosophical" film - we're asked to think more than anything, and that is refreshing. I agree with Marshall that the soccer metaphor wasn't clear to me - but in reading your comments it looks like you know how to fix that, which is great. I didn't at first read your spontaneous soccer pick-up game as especially competitive, but more as a collaborative kind of practice - evidently I was off. But maybe it's both, which means your idea of integrating soccer throughout, illustrating both ends of the spectrum perhaps, would work.
I was very intrigued with the Burmese non-competitive dance-like soccer (the name escapes me now) - just beautiful!
December 15, 2006 7:45:00 AM PST
Anonymous mc said...
I agree with almost all of your comments, Ross, but I actually really like the tone of the narration. The deadpan, understated tone makes it feel more personal to me. Because it defies the convention of most narration (which has those weirdly hyped, unnatural inflections), i felt like I was listening to another human speaking to me rather than a Voice Over-- which seemed particularly appropriate given the film's subject matter.
December 18, 2006 8:58:00 AM PST
655shorts said...
Sam said....
I enjoyed this topic a great deal and when I first saw this piece it was very interesting because in my doc class at NYU this fall I was trying to impress on the students the idea of succeeding as a team rather then competiting as indviduals when it came to creating their film projects. It was a very difficult idea for many of them to deal with.
I liked the narrators voice and felt like MC that it was human and conversational.
The archival footage and animation are great. The one confusion was the apple pie cutting and the reverse of it. I didn't get it.
I agree with Ross about the Mead comment it takes to many readings to digest.
Also to agree with MC and Ross the soccer idea does not work. A great visual way to start and end the film but you need to make a stronger connection to the idea of competitng right now it does not.
I liked the pacing overall even when you upcut new voiceover ideas before a scene finished, not my style but worked.
And finally when I read the other comments my competitive juices kicked in and I watched this piece again and again. Hmm.
January 1, 2007 2:24:00 PM PST