Open CallOpen Call: Rough Cuts
War Games (Rough Cut) (3:00)
Heather Arment | Seattle, WA
Several months ago I was sifting through some old family slides when I came across an image of me (age 3) sheepishly hiding behind my two older brothers. What stood out to me in an otherwise stereotypical family photo was that all three of us had play pistols strapped to our tiny prepubescent waists. "War" was as American to us a baseball and apple pie. This quirky, animated narrative explores my childhood's obsession with guns, heroes and villains and how one accident introduced the reality check that made my brothers and I retire our weapons.
Editor/designer Heather Arment has a decade of experience in both documentary filmmaking and motion graphic commercial work. She has a growing interest in mixing both of these worlds by crafting a breed of animated documentaries. Having been raised in the farmlands of Lancaster, PA, she tends to wear a lot of black, which, some people assume is an “art thing.” “But really,” she says, “it’s probably closer to an Amish thing.” Heather currently freelances out of her home studio in Seattle, WA.
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great job
Your film truly has interesting subject matter. And your written narrative beautifully takes us through this surreal memory. Of course, as everyone has said, you could re-record it, and I think bringing the energy of the audio track up to the energy of the animation will be helpful. The voice quality is lovely- very nostalgic and dreamy, and to make the end pack in its complete punch (the bunny incident) perhaps at the beginning the voice could be almost happy, really into it all, so that when the scenario changes the voice can reflect that change as well.
In general, totally awesome!
Heather - I second Simmon's
Heather -
I second Simmon's comments about v/o and pacing. Try to make room for your story.
This is terrific and original short.
Great animation!
The animation is a terrific. The piece does a good job of illustrating the movement from childhood naivety to the realization that the world is a more complex and morally ambiguous place.
The voice over script is well written, but perhaps you are trying to pack a little too much in – this may account for why the voice over seems very rushed. The voice over recording also needs work. It feels clipped and soft, and it’s often overwhelmed by the music - it needs space to breathe to allow viewers to process what’s being said. I would suggest re-recording the VO. Nice moral tale that broadens out towards violence and war in general.
-Simon Kilmurry
Executive Director
American Documentary | P.O.V.
WoW
Heather, this is an amazing animated piece. I have to say that I was a bit anxious to see how you were going to approach this childhood story. I guess I imagined, a lot of images from your past animated in some creative way. I'm happy to see you took it to another level. I love computer animated characters!
Just one tech note and you may be working on this already:
Your voice track is little lost in the music and sound fx. It could just be the compression for the web, but let's make every effort that on your final cut, we address this. We might want to think about re-tracking to make sure we have good solid recorded VO. I had some trouble with following the story but again that might be the compression. We just need to make sure we consider of all the media platforms this story might play.. web and broadcast.
If you need any suggestions on how to get a good mix let's talk before final delivery. Loved the sound fx, but we might need lower them a bit so we don't lose the story.
Many thanks for sharing your story.
Christopher Hastings
Post Production Supervisor,
WGBH Lab-BMP